All Alone in the Midst of Many : Part 3

I hope the weekend was great for every one. Ours was especially nice. We had a friend over for dinner Saturday evening and had a great time of fellowship, relationship building. Pastor Mike challenged me with his message Sunday morning and we ended the weekend with an afternoon and evening with visits and meals with family. I have a deep satisfaction in my soul and I'm excitedly anticipating beginning classes on Monday.

I'm posting the third part of a research paper that I wrote last semester on the growing trend of social isolation in America. Again I hope that you find something here that you can relate to. I also hope that you are able to glean some personal growth through this, my attempt to challenge you to build meaningful relationships in your life. Thanks for taking the time to see what I have to say. Shalom.

How serious is this change and how fast are things changing? In a 2004 study published in the American Sociological Review co-authors Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin, and Matthew Brashears found that one in four Americans have no one that they feel they can discuss important matters with (358). The study is based on the results of the General Social Survey (GSS) of 2004. When the results of the 2004 GSS were compared with those of the 1985 GSS they were shocked to find that in just less than two decades the number of confidants decreased by 33%. “”You usually don’t see that kind of big social change in a couple of decades,” says study co-author Lynn Smith-Lovin, professor of sociology at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina” (Kornblum 01A). This rapid change had previously been unheard of. Another reprehensible statistic was that 53% of the survey group stated that they had no family member to discuss important matters with. This means that these people don’t have a close enough relationship with their spouse, parents, siblings, children, or any other family member to confide important personal issues in. It is difficult to view these findings and not recall the video and photos of hurricane Katrina victims stranded on roof tops. Could it be that these people had no one to call for help or no one to check on them? What a sad and desolate thought that in a nation as technologically advanced as America what kept these human beings from being rescued in a perilous situation was that they had no one to reach out to for help.
This data poses some interesting thought. Over the same period of time that we have seen technology sky rocket with the propagation of the internet, emailing, mobile phones, BlackBerries, and Facebook, we have literally lost our close circle of friends and confidants. While we have become more “connected” through technology than ever before, we have also become isolated. The problem with social networks is that the relationships don’t have to be, and often times are not real. Through these networks one can choose exactly what to and not to reveal to others. It is even possible to create alter egos and develop fantasy lives for these egos. This makes true connection impossible. It is also a danger to reveal some things within these networks because predators have found them to be a gold mine of victims. As it is necessary to be guarded in these environments, it then becomes too easy to become over guarded within real relationships. In the not so distant past, one was considered cold and aloof or selfish and introverted if they were overly cautious and hesitant toward new relationships. In today’s social climate it is the norm to be restrained and wary in new and established relationships. However, in order to build close relationships there must be an element of vulnerability from all involved. Many are physically or electronically connected and yet emotionally separated. There must be trust to truly connect in relationship.
With the declination of community and connectedness in relationships occurring at such a rapid rate, what can we expect for the future? With the progression taking place so rapidly there really is no hypothesis, but without intervention it cannot be good. There is obviously more split families and children living with only one parent. It could also be predicted that the crime rate would also rise. Blood banks could struggle with the crisis of a shortage. Some charitable organizations could become defunct. There is also a risk of a physical and mental health catastrophe and civilization as we know it now could evolve into a desolate community of isolated independents. While these predictions seem to border on the extreme, the experts were shocked at the results of the 2004 GSS as compared to the 1985 GSS (Kornblum 01A). Therefore, while there are no documented predictions for where the current trend of social isolation is leading our society, these issues must be considered.